Five Grand and Nothing to Do
At the beginning of 2000, I got a new job together with a $5,000 signing bonus. To celebrate, I decided to visit a local, upscale "Gentlemen's Club", which was something I had never done before, nor could I have afforded to. I hadn't been around a woman in a long time, and I was aching for a release.

When I first entered, I was extremely nervous, not knowing exactly what to expect. The main area had very little light. It enhanced the ambience, but it also made it hard to see. I heard some music playing. I also noticed three strippers dancing halfway down the room on a stage. "Wow, I'm around naked chicks in person," I thought, which was something that only happened to me once before. I was very excited but nervous at the same time. Everyone else looked at ease, as if they had been here several times before, which was probably true. I took the first seat at the bar. It was closest to the door, which was important in case I had second thoughts and decided to haul my ass out of there.

Aside from the strippers and the audience, I eventually noticed several lovely women spread out around the room, all appearing to be in their 20's, roaming around and talking to different men. Soon a buxom blonde, around 5'5", started to talk to me. She was as dazzling as any model or Hollywood actress one sees on the movies or TV. In my entire life I had never been around a woman like this, let alone have one talk to me. I felt more nervous than flattered, though, which made conversation difficult. She seemed to know what she was doing, however. We had a light chitchat and exchanged small details about our lives. I don't remember any details about what I said, and the only thing I could remember her saying was that she was Italian-American. After a while she said, "So, do you want to have some fun?" No red-blooded man alive could have said no.

We were about to leave when another woman, just as enticing as the one I was with, approached us. She was a tall, natural blonde, at least 5'11". She said, "Would you like a twosome?" I had to stop myself immediately from saying yes, which was what was screaming in my mind. This was the first time in a long time that I was with any woman. I decided that having a twosome would be overkill, in spite of the wonderment of having a fantasy turned into a reality. I also said to myself that it would probably cost me an arm and a leg. Therefore, I grudgingly declined, and I continued walking with the original woman I was with.

I followed her into a dark hallway that eventually led to a stairway. We went upstairs, where I saw several rooms. The layout looked similar to that of a hotel, except that it was smaller, there was very little light, and the doors were close to each other, hinting that the rooms were small. She led me inside one of the rooms. It was a cramped room, about the size of a typical bathroom, though I was sure no activities that typically occur in a bathroom were about to occur here. She invited me to lie down on a bed that was against the wall.

The subject of money took place. Before going into the club I had cashed out $1,000 out of the $5,000 I received from the bonus, though I didn't really expect to spend more than $300 this night. Unfortunately she must have sensed my naïveté, because she managed to wheedle out of me the amount of cash I was carrying. She ended up milking the entire $1,000 out of me. In my defense I can only say that I had no clue how this kind of thing worked. I knew that there was a base fee, but I also knew that only a percentage goes to her and the rest goes to the club. So I assumed I was also supposed to pay a tip, but I wasn't sure, and I thought it was highly unlikely that $1,000 was the amount of money typically spent in these situations. For Christ's sake, I thought, for a fraction of that money anywhere else I could get.... (Oops, I don't think I can talk about that here. Man, censorship sucks. Why should I censor the natural form of human expression? Censorship is basically lying. It prohibits one from telling the truth about how human beings really think and act.) I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, but I had the faint notion that leaving a cheap tip would turn her against me, and that was the last thing I wanted to happen. Moreover, I was too excited to care about money at that point (if you can imagine a person being in such a state).

Next the fun started. She slowly took off her top. She had beautiful, full, natural breasts. Their size looked to be 36, or 38D or 38DD -- I really don't know how to measure these things. All I knew was that they made my jaw drop. I felt like I was in heaven at that point already, given how horny a guy I was. Then she walked over and laid on top of me. I could feel her tits on my chest, and her face was so close to mine I could have kissed her just by lurching my head forward a little.

Then, surprisingly, we continued the light conversation we had before we came upstairs. I seriously doubted that this was what normally took place when one does what we were doing. We discussed things like life, philosophy, and psychology. I told her that I was very shy and that I almost never go after women. It also occurred to me to seize this $1,000 opportunity and ask her questions about women in general. I didn't have any female friends at the time, so I asked her things like what were women like, on a psychological level, what things do women like about men, how women want to be treated by men, and so on. Throughout this discussion she was grinding her chest into mine and massaging my crotch, where I had a raging erection. I remember a thought crossing my mind: "This is definitely not something that happens every day."

At one point, she asked me, "Why are you here?" "What do you mean," I answered. "Guys like you don't usually come here. You should be doing things like going to bars," she said. I wasn't sure, but I thought I had just received one of the best compliments of my entire life. I always thought of myself as a complete loser who could only score if I paid for it. Women (and men) almost always ignore me as if I were invisible, let alone think of me in a romantic way. I was too shy to press her for it, but I think she meant that I wasn't as gross, disgusting a creature as the usual types of men that come here. In other words, she meant that I was at least decently good-looking. Maybe I'm just a lunatic, but hearing that statement from a woman like this would have been like Albert Einstein saying to me, "Hey, you're pretty smart."

Afterward she led me into another room where I noticed a glass partition. I sat on a stool on one side of the partition. Then, on the other side of the partition, she came in, stripped completely naked, turned on some music, and started an incredibly sexy dance. Before we went in, she told me that I could masturbate on the other side. I don't know if it was the novel conversation we had earlier, or the fact that I was completely clueless about going to a club like this, or the fact that I was terrified out of my mind during this entire experience, or the fact that I was slowly realizing that I had just been gypped out of thousand dollars. Whatever the reason, this was the first time I could remember having to jerk off under pressure (the time I had paid for was running out). Therefore, it just didn't happen. In spite of being in front of the perfect woman dancing completely naked in front of me, my penis was as limp as a wet sheet of toilet paper. Time was quickly running out and she was patiently waiting for me to cum, but I had no choice and I weakly said, "Sorry, I can't." I felt so humiliated.

Later we said our goodbyes and before she left she said, "Stay in the bar for a while. Order some champagne, you deserve it." I did think I deserved it, but if she had told me to go climb Mt. Everest, I would have mindlessly done that as well. So I ordered an entire bottle of champagne and had it by myself. I felt terribly awkward, and I was sure I looked like a complete loser. My only excuse is that I was still in a daze over the events that had transpired that evening.

Gradually I came to my senses and attempted to make a quick, discreet exit, but another woman approached me before I could do so. She was a tall woman with long brown hair and pretty eyes. Needless to say I thought she was exceedingly beautiful, as I was certain all the women here were. I knew I should have left but I felt compelled to talk to her. She had some trouble speaking English, and she told me she was from Mexico. She put her hand on my lap, but it felt as if she had just put her hand on my dick -- that's how excited I was. Strangely, I felt connected to her and very comfortable talking to her -- more comfortable than I felt talking to the woman I was with earlier that night. Eventually she invited me to come with her, but after going through the experience of losing a thousand dollars in the span of a few minutes, I realized that this was my cue to leave. I gently told her "no." This was terribly difficult because I felt like if I met her on my own outside of this club, we would have gotten along extremely well. Painfully I noticed that she was upset, and she spent some time trying to change my mind. I even noticed her being angry, which frightened me coming from a woman as divine as she. I was certain, however, that she was upset not because she really did like me and was sad to see me go, but because she had wasted her time on a pathetic... client when she could have been making money already off someone else.

I finally managed to leave. I was still carrying that bottle of champagne. I had drunk half of it, which made me feel slightly buzzed. Walking outdoors in the cold air sobered me up a little. I left the club with a feeling of awe at what I just experienced, but at the same time, I castigated myself for stupidly giving my money away.